The premise behind this old saying is of course that we should perhaps listen as much as we speak.
Yet the Hearing Community has a habit of liking to hear its own voice. And in light of free speech, this is of course fundamentally all well and good.
But even though at times we are clearly better off listening than speaking, this is not always evident in day to day life.
Because perhaps there is a tendency to feel that the more, quicker or louder we speak, the more we are perceived by others to have confidence or to understand or believe in the subject matter of which we are speaking about, even if this is not necessarily the case.
But by listening to others more, we can surely learn about their experiences which could in turn compliment or supplement our own, an issue we touch upon in our previous posts entitled "Leverage the Stressbusting™ Wisdom of Age" and "Break Time Quickie: StressBust™ by learning from the mistakes of others as well as your own".
And maybe by talking too much and too openly we share sentiments that were better kept to ourselves when we revisit what we have said in hindsight.
This concept is best encapsulated in another saying to the effect that"Sometimes it's better to say nothing at all and look a fool than to say something and put the matter beyond all doubt".
An interaction between individuals, whether a conversation, a dispute, a negotiation or whatever, is meant to be a 2 way process, a sharing of ideas no less.
We rarely if ever have advance clearance or justification to impose our views and frustrations on others without the quid quo pro of them being given the courtesy of a reply or the right to contribute, as this too forms part of free speech.
And a seeming inability to control emotions or the pace, tone and relevance of content of our dialogue can be an indicator of immaturity, naivety and a dictatorial nature, whether in a personal or work context, that can be overwhelming and off-putting - see our post entitled "Break Time Quickie - Don’t try to be a Police Chief!" for further context to this.
One simple skill to master to avoid falling into this trap is to consciously slow and quieten speech down while speaking. This enables people to understand us better by having the time to process and digest what is being said and helps us come across as calm, no matter how we actually feel about the subject matter of our dialogue.
Also, try to be patient with and empathetic towards others. Some people might not be open or confident by nature, but they may nevertheless have things they wish to share that may not only make them feel better but additionally educate us in the process. If we have, for example, monopolised an interaction on a matter of priority or interest to us solely, there is no harm in apologising for doing so and asking the other person if there is anything different they would like to talk about.
FInally, learn to pause. Pauses allow for others to have their say or reply to what we have said so far, and for us to gauge whether they are comfortable with the direction of conversation, so to determine what if anything we ought not to say (eg what might come back and bite us on the bottom!).
So whenever we think we are rambling or labouring a point unduly, let's remember "The Universe gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth" for a reason!"
For further info that may be relevant to this post, please see our previous post entitled "Extend your Vocabulary to Stressbust™", "Sorry (needn't!) be the Hardest Word" and "Stressbusting™ Lessons from Finland - “The Happiest Nation on Earth”
Big love
MikeyM™❤LouLoU™ 😊😃🤫👏 xxxx