The word “toxic” derives from the Greek “toxikon pharmakon”, meaning “poison for arrows”.
Needless to say, therefore, there is nothing whatsoever positive about anything that is toxic 🤢!
So what can be toxic to an individual and thus interfere with a responsible and committed stressbusting™ strategy?
Well, for one, exposure to certain events or places that cause anxiety can be toxic.
MikeyM™ for example does not like the lighting in supermarkets, so simply orders online instead of exposing himself to it ✋.
Then there is exposure to certain people we term ‘neg eggs’, because they seem to constantly spread negative energy and burn our positive energy whenever we encounter them.
This can out of the blue affect stress and anxiety levels as they are expert at transferring their own issues on to any willing listener!
So how do we address this?
Well the answer is we have to be fairly ruthless.
Were a poisoned arrow hurtling through the air towards you, what would you do?
Well of course you would take any action you could and needed to take action to avoid it.
The same applies to toxic situations and people.
As there is nothing whatsoever good about Toxicity, there is generally no compromise you can reach subject to what is said below.
As such, the best stressbusting strategy is usually to avoid them completely wherever feasible.
We do not advocate being rude in any way, simply recognising that certain situations or people, whenever encountered, have a negative energy that they convey to you ☹ and part of any effective self care routine necessitates this being avoided 👌.
What is toxic for one person is of course not necessarily toxic for the next and only individuals themselves can determine what has a sufficiently negative impact on their day or state of mind to justify polite 😘 removal of the positivity obstacle.
Whilst we consider ourselves highly empathetic, there is a limit to how much we are willing to “inherit” the day to day issues of others at our own expense and we do not consider this selfish or unsympathetic in any way, but rather a commitment to ensuring we are best placed to contribute to society on out terms in a healthy, manageable, positive way without being burdened with third party issues that are for the third parties themselves to address, if for no other reason that we have zero control over them!
The human propensity to create unnecessary drama even where there is none is legendary.
So whilst it’s fine to be a good listener (as we both are, as we adhere to the view that ‘God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth for a reason’!) this must be measured.
If conversations are entirely one way and simply involve a barrage of woes flying in your direction like the poisoned arrows, then clearly this is not acceptable.
It may be that the person so offloading feels better at the end of it, but at what cost to your day and how you feel as they go about their “merry” business in search of their next willing listener?!
Kindness, in other words, is of course a virtue, but not at the expense of self.
So how do you determine what is toxic?
Well, we imagine our daily physical and emotional energy levels to be like car fuel tanks, filled up by sleep to get us through the day.
If a particular event, experience or encounter ‘drains’ either or both of those tanks unduly then we conclude that must have been toxic and take steps to avoid a repeat.
You might experience Toxicity in a situation you actually think you enjoy and this can be tricky.
Perhaps for example you have a good friend who’s company you thoroughly enjoy but for one reason or another is draining you.
Perhaps because the relationship interferes with a health regime, results in drinking too much or encourages you to smoke, for example.
In this situation you may look to recognise and validate this fact and if the friendship is important enough to you, communicate and find a compromise which eradicates the toxic aspects and enhances the relationship in the process, such as a good walk that ends at the pub instead of starting at the pub in one of the examples provided above.
For us, Toxicity is one of the main risks to a stressbusting™ approach to life which needs to be carefully monitored as it can creep up on you without you noticing even from the closest and most unlikely of sources.
And there is enough to genuinely and constructively be concerned about in life without volunteering yourself to encounters that will inevitably deplete you.
One of our most common sayings whenever we get dragged into other people’s (often avoidable) dramas is “Life ought not to be like living on the set of “Eastenders” 😔.
If this is the case for you, then it’s time to take a step back and review how much better and less stressful life might be relaxing poolside on the set of the Abba movie musical "Mamma Mia” 😎🥳 !
Much love
LouLoU&MikeyM™ xxxx