We talk in a previous post entitled "Break Time Quickie: argumental "time outs"" about the value of making arguments that inevitably occur from time to time as constructive and progressive as they can possibly be, albeit they aren't great experiences per se.
In this post we share a tip on how we try to avoid them if at all possible!
Broadly speaking, arguments come about as a result of stress, misunderstandings or because a person feels invalidated in some way.
Talking about how we feel on a regular basis can give others a clue as to our mood and the mental space we occupy at a particular time.
Our post entitled "Learn to read body language to reduce anxiety & prosper" provides guidance on how to discern how a person is really faring by looking behind the plain exterior and words they say.
But the reality is that in the busy world we live, we can't always give the continuous attention to others needed to spot early warning signs before they escalate into an argumentative situation.
So, we have agreed a rule of thumb that it is okay to gently jibe one another on matters that may be bothering us.
This is not the same as "sniping" at one another or dousing one another with sarcasm, both of which can be incendiary, disrespectful and monotonous
It is more about "reminder teasing".
Simple examples could include:-
● (where a person is leaving dirty clothes on the floor)
"I wonder if that dirty washing lying on the floor of your bedroom will spout legs and walk itself to the laundry if it's left long enough"
● (to a person skipping their turn on after supper clear up)
"How many fairies do you think it would take to wash those dishes?"
● (where someone is behaving like Peppa Pig at the dinner table)
"It's so attractive to see someone enjoy their food so much to the extent they can't speak clearly"
● (should the intended target be careering around in the car as if they are on a racing track)
"My, I had no idea driving on two wheels could be so comfortable"
● (and one for the overly critical types)
"It's a miracle I ever managed to get things done myself before your incisive views made their grand entrance into my life"
And so on and so forth - the opportunities are frankly endless!
We find that this is a far more pleasant way of gently communicating our concerns and grudges than letting them bottle up into an argumentative crescendo.
And it can be extremely funny and even competitive to compare the quality or subtlety of the jibes flying in each direction.
We even bestow a 'gentle jibe of the week' award to the person who has come up with the most creative put down!
Most of all, though, it is a system that acknowledges that we are not mind readers, so cannot gauge what is on the other's mind at a particular time without some kind of prompt or communication, whatever form that takes.
For further info relevant to the above, feel free to visit the following post links:-
""Relax into the Dance of Life""
"Break Time Quickie : Open the Door to Imperfection – it can be Liberating as well as Stressbusting™"
""The Universe gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth for a reason""
"Learn to "Observe" as opposed to merely "See" to Stressbust™ efficiently"