Life can be full of surprises.
Some pleasant 👌, some less so 🙉.
And how we deal with the less pleasant surprises life throws us is a very good guide as to how well our stressbusting™ strategy is working for us.
We find 'cautious optimism' to be the best approach to life in general.
This means we are always optimistic about positive outcomes occurring 👍 but subconsciously ready for a sucker punch or 2 flying at us from out of nowhere at any time despite our best plans 👊!
Accepting that such sucker punches are inevitable is the first pivotal step to being able to handle setbacks well when they do occur 🤘.
It’s futile to think you can control life to the extent that you have no setbacks, as this ignores the fact that you are part of a wider social phenomenon and universal state that acts and reacts independently of you in ways that naturally affect you, whether for good or bad.
In other words, setbacks form part of the very fabric that makes you part of the world we all live in.
So don’t let them make you feel excluded or victimised.
Once this is accepted, you can stop blaming yourself for the sucker punches and labouring over whether you could have avoided them had you e.g. done this or said that, etc.
But equally don't look to blame others unfairly - see our post entitled "Break Time Quickie : Open the Door to Imperfection - It can be Liberating as well as Stressbusting™" for the risks inherent in this
Instead try to appreciate that we learn more about ourselves in a crisis, making it a greater opportunity for personal growth.
If major decisions need to be made off the back of any setback, we are armed with our “5 Key Stages of Decision Making”, as listed out in our previous post bearing that title which is worth a read of itself.
Finally, we celebrate that feeling something passionately and emotionally (as is usually our reaction to setbacks – “why me?”, “how could this happen”, “what have we done to deserve this” etc, etc), even though it may be unpleasant, is far better than feeling nothing at all as these understandable emotions are what make us human 👫🧑🤝🧑.
The worst reactions to a setback are anger, self pity, social withdrawal or undue protracted reflection.
These simply exacerbate the setback's initial impact on you as well those around you and, in the case of numerous setbacks in a short space of time (as can often happen!) could end up manifesting Depression.
Neither is panicking 🙈 a constructive mechanism and we cover the important issue of “Identifying & Managing Panic Attacks” in a separate post.
Rather, having an advance coping technique that you can automatically ‘click into’ if needed when (not if) the time comes, and which is the best coping mechanism for you personally, makes most sense.
This will avoid the use of utterly pointless, negative speak such as "this year can't end quickly enough" or "I must've been really bad in a previous life".
These ignore the simple reality that setbacks have been with us since the start of time as we know it and are an inescapable part of prosperous, balanced existence.
So plan effectively for inevitable sucker punches by giving your stressbusting™ tools a regular dust down and work out, revisiting previous relevant StressBustingExpert™ posts if necessary.
And don’t allow the sucker punches 💥 , harsh though they can seem, to redefine you or your best self.
Big love, LouLoU&MikeyM™ 😚❤💚💛 xxxxx