Divorce and separation from loved ones when there is no alternative but to accept that a relationship is truly at an end is consistently cited by experts as one of the most stressful events to be endured.
We think this is for a number of reasons.
Firstly, it is a period of high emotional frequency that involves an acceptance that something we have invested heavily into has not worked out as we had hoped or expected.
Secondly, it can seriously affect our confidence in our own judgement – how could we not see this coming from the outset or at least before now?
Thirdly, it involves a move out of a relative comfort zone into the relative unknown with a myriad of life adjustments to be made in the process.
See our posts entitled "Learn to Expect (and Accept) the Unexpected to Stressbust™ More Effectively" and "Stressbusting™ when things don't work out quite as you'd expected........" for more information surrounding all 3 of these themes.
And fourthly it can involve the unravelling of relationship matters either between the parties (who therefore still need to communicate with one another) or even through the Courts.
See our separate post entitled "The Dangers of Litigation to Stressbusting™" for a review of specific risks relating to this aspect of separation.
But once separation is accepted by both parties as inevitable and all tools to reconcile have been exhausted in full acknowledgement of weighting factors and risks, then it is important to move forward constructively.
See our post entitled "Never Separate or Divorce In Haste to Stressbust™" for a review of specific example weighting factors and risks.
The impacts of separation can be helped or mitigated in a number of ways.
Firstly, by active self care and patience.
Appreciating that this is a difficult time and that the wounds will take time to heal reinforces the paramount need to be gentle with oneself.
In a period of high anxiety such as this, the techniques described in our posts entitled "Stressbusting™ Techniques to Manage & Calm Overwhelm" and "Master this Patience Technique to Stressbust™" could assist immeasurably.
From a diet perspective, see our post entitled "Top 10 Super Cost Effective Stressbusting™ Tips to Dietary Wellness that SAVED us money" for our own low cost dietary wellness tips.
Then there is a need to adjust to a new routine to replace the one previously enjoyed.
This is easier where there is full or part time work to commit to.
If not, then spending a dedicated period of time daily on a favoured hobby or a walk in nature might be an idea.
Or spending quality time with friends and family, particularly those identified in our post entitled "Break Time Quickie - Keep Stressbusting™ Assets Visible".
And we would make 3 final observations.
Firstly, we think it is important to appreciate amidst all the emotion that there is very rarely only one party to blame exclusively for a separation.
The fact of the matter is people change, whether owing to experience, growth or trauma.
For a real time consideration of this, visit our post entitled "Stressbusting™ during & after Cancer".
But regardless of what anyone says (and in this regard respective families can become polarised and cruel at times like these), both parties went into the relationship with honourable intentions that for whatever reason did not work out.
This forms part of the impetus to "Relax into the Dance of Life" (see our previous post so entitled) and is a constituent element of life’s inherent learning curve.
Secondly, appreciate that you are not alone.
Some statistics claim that as many as almost 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.
So reach out to help groups as needed without shame or guilt.
And thirdly, appreciate that however bad things seem, they will improve with the course of time, because, as our recent post entitled "Let go of the Past & Create A New Living Legacy to Stressbust™" explains, you can become the author of your own life story with a positive outlook and an ongoing commitment to the values you cherish most.
We hope this helps at what is a difficult time.
Lots of love, MikeyM&LouLoU™ 🙃💔❣💞 xxxxxx