"Sorry (needn't!) be the Hardest Word"

As big fans of the terrific music of Elton John and Bernie Taupin, we often find ourselves listening to one of their famous songs, "Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word".

And listening to it over the weekend led us to us opening a really interesting conversation. Namely, on why indeed does "sorry seem' to be the hardest word" for so many, when it needn't be.

We concluded that there are probably a number of generally applicable as opposed to personal reasons for this, including a reluctance to appear weak, a fear of coming across as subservient to others and a sense of loss of pride.

So while "sorry" is only a word, just like any other, it carries with it many emotional connotations of self and of perception to others which makes the prospect of having to apologise a source of great stress for many people.

A true apology ought to be heartfelt and, importantly, unconditional.

So any "sorry" followed by an 'if' or 'but is largely a meaningless exercise.

● "I'm sorry IF I offended you" really means nothing more than "OK, I'll go through the motion of apologising, but you really should be more robust" and the use of the word "if" even goes as far as to intone that you don't believe the person in question feels the way they purport to!

● "I'm sorry BUT I was only trying to help" offers up nothing more than "I'm having to apologise as a result of your fault in not seeing the good in me"

These types of "sorries" are not true apologies but rather excuses at best and insults at worst!

Saying sorry unconditionally should be an exercise in building bridges and expressing fallibility as a human being willing to learn from errors.

But if the word "sorry" is such a hot potato for so many of us, how can we dilute its emotional charge to make it easier to do the right thing in accepting accountability by saying sorry as an enjoyable act that enhances us, not a reluctant necessity?

Well, we started to play around with the word "SORRY" itself and turned it on its side to come up with the following important context reminders for it, by using each letter of the word :-

S = Special : it takes courage 

O = 'Open' : it is honest

R = Regal - it is proper

R = Right - it is moral

Y = 'Why' not say sorry - given all the above

We are going to actively think of "SORRY" in these more refined terms moving forward to see if it alters our approach to the physical and emotional exercise of apologising or reduces related stress. As part of this exercise, we have resolved from time to time to recite what each letter stands for so that the reframing imprints on our minds.

If it works, we may try applying the same technique to other words that have similar unattractive connotations, of which there are many.

We invite readers to do the same and as always would welcome feedback on individual experiences!

For further discussions relevant to the above, please see earlier posts entitled "Break Time Quickie : Open the Door to Imperfection – it can be Liberating as well as Stressbusting™", "The Dangers of Denial to StressBusting™"" and "Extend your Vocabulary to Stressbust™".

Love always

LouLoU&MikeyM😊😘🤗🧡

Xxxxxx