All humans are individuals. As such, we naturally prefer some tasks and activities more than others. These preferences are determined on a case by case individual basis, because after all each and every one of us is different.
For some, the idea of a long drive to see extended family is very attractive, to others it is their worst nightmare.
Certain individuals love the idea of attending a busy social event, others would dread it.
And so on and so forth.
But when we "dread" something, it of course makes us stressed.
This is because nobody wants to do, or wants to feel compelled to do, something they dislike.
Yet there are times in life when for example our responsibilities, the law or perhaps even the wider social good demand we do so.
However, the reality is, people only "dread" things because they are conditioning themselves to do so by focusing more on the act of performing the activity they so dislike itself than on the possible and probable benefit(s) of performing the activity.
At the end of the day, we each, in the main, control not only what we say outwards to others, but the internal narrative or "conversation" that takes place in our own minds.
The pace of modern day life, however, encourages us to think more in "black or white" terms, rather than examining the grey bit in the middle, because this is a little more time consuming. So we tend to simply box proposed activities as either "good" or "bad" for us, and leave it at that.
Yet if we take a moment to examine the "grey", we might approach an activity we are dreading and is (as a result) stressing us out, with much more positivity because we see the longer term benefits.
And there are always benefits to be had from any undesirable activity if we examine it closely enough - this is without exception as its performance involves a degree of progress, if nothing else!
For example, if we are dreading a difficult telephone conversation, the benefits we may focus on on advance are having been able to communicate how we feel, having moved a step closer to resolving the issue in question (or at least having attempted to), and being able to move forward afterwards without it preying on the mind too much.
If we are dreading a doctor's appointment, the benefits we may focus on include (again) being able to relay how we feel or what is troubling us, getting a clearer picture of our overall health and being able to address any possible problems early and thus before escalation that may affect those we love or care for as much as us personally.
MikeyM™ has been threatening to mow our lawn for weeks but dreading it all the while. After a discussion with LouLou™ as to how a smart, well kept garden would open up the opportunity to have family and friends over for barbeques and Her Majesty the Baby to safely spend time with us outdoors while we all soaked up some rays, he moved to approaching the exercise with renewed zeal as a result of greater context, and in the end even really enjoyed the activity itself.
A list of illustrative examples could just go on and on.
The fact is, how we deal with dread and the level of stress we allow it to impose on us, is all about where we place our focus. If we take time to think about and actively imagine the benefits in advance, as opposed to paying too much credence to the activity itself, we are giving ourselves permission not to be as stressed!
So don't feel or think that difficult issues or events are to be "faced", because this is a negative way of thinking. Instead, take a little time to embrace a fresh approach by determining they will be enjoyed if only for the inevitable, pre-identified natural benefits that will follow!
For further information on the reported power of imagination, please see our earlier post entitled "Break Time Quickie: Imagine2Create"
Much love
LouLoU™&MikeyM™ 🙂💚💙💜💯 xxxxx