Everyone who works is taught to act in a particular way to maximise the value they add to that workplace, whether they be e.g. doctors, lawyers, police officers, teachers, postal service workers, administrators or otherwise.
These teachings are delivered by courses and employers to employees to drive efficiency in a very narrow arena of life – their field of work for which they are duly remunerated.
It is important, therefore, to remember that home life is not always so black and white.
To give some examples, a lawyer who thinks in legal terms and constantly quotes and applies strict legal concepts at home will not have the versatility and empathy needed to participate in a family with kindness and understanding.
A theology professor who tries to find the meaning for every family action, comment or thought given at home will miss out on so much spontaneity and create unnecessary complications.
And the teacher who insists on hands up from the rest of their family as a request to speak and scrutinises every apparent child misdemeanour risks creating an overtly rigid, less fluid home environment in which rebellion is more likely to prevail than compromise.
So, while sometimes difficult, particularly with the increased incidence of home work, it is nevertheless essential to “switch off’ from work mode at ‘home time’, as the latter requires a much more generalist, less specific approach than the more straitjacket efficiency driven behaviour specific jobs necessitate.
Because your friends and family need their and your homes to be a safe haven for them within which they can act, idea share and show weakness and vulnerability from time to time without fear of undue judgement, criticism, humiliation or reproach resulting from an over zealous workplace based approach.
The key to the separation is putting some physical and emotional distance between work and home time.
A good walk can do this. Or reading a chapter of a book. Or perhaps doing a simple DIY task, or cooking.
In other words, anything that you enjoy but is none work related and reinforces your ‘homing beacon’, so to speak 🙂.
And if you fall back into work habits and modes of approach during home time which are not conducive to a stress free home life, just give them a positive mental validation, remind yourself that these are what make you a valued employer and workmate, then let them go until you need to re-engage them for work👍.
For further insights and tips on self validation, see our post entitled "Give yourself a Stressbusting™ Pat on the Back".
All our love, MikeyM&LouLoU 💙💚❤💥 xxxx