We are privileged and blessed to have healthy children from previous relationships earlier in our lives (20's and 30's respectively), as well as a beautiful baby girl at 40 and 50 between us.
As such, we thought a reflected comparison of our experiences was in order.
The below resulting considerations might help inform readers perhaps considering having a child later in life themselves.
Simple caveats to what follows are that i). while we have 4 almost fully grown boys between us, Her Majesty the Baby is the 1st baby girl we have had and ii). we are both able to work comfortably from home.
Key Considerations to Elder Parenting:
1. We are far more relaxed and confident in ourselves 2nd time around and this we feel is rubbing off on Her Majesty the Baby.
We felt confident enough, for example, to have our 1st home birth (an exhilarating experience that forms the basis of its own dedicated post entitled "Stressbust™ your way through a Home Birth").
At the same time, however, there is perhaps not the same ‘go with the flow’ mentality, arguably because later in life you become more aware of risks and maybe over cater for them accordingly.
2. Her Majesty’s arrival has given us an increased impetus to be healthy and remain so in years to come which is in all of the family's interests, but equally a concern that despite best endeavours this might not be possible.
3. Physically, it has been undoubtedly more demanding 2nd time around, but we are treating this as a wellness driver, not as a negative.
4. We are more financially and emotionally secure this time – a massive stressbusting™ plus.
5. We have found healthcare wraparound to be a lot less comprehensive than before, though last time around when we were much younger, found it too invasive (you can’t win, can you 😀!).
6. Elder Parenting can be something of a shock to the older generation of kids – just something to watch out for as a matter of familial management that may need attention.
We have found that the bigger the age difference between them and your new born, the bigger the challenge.
7. As elder parents, we undoubtedly worry more about the long term need to be around to support Her Majesty as well as the other kids. This worry is, we believe, unavoidable.
8. With age, our sleep needs have reduced naturally over time, meaning we have not been so affected by impromptu midnight pyjama parties as much as we expected to be.
9. We are structured, previously well travelled individuals who now appreciate the simple things in life, so we do not feel that we are ‘missing out’, or will miss out, on any supposed ‘twilight years’.
10. We knew at our age from science and statistics that we were more likely to have a girl than a boy - something to bear in mind when considering elder parenting.
As a side observation, the bugs that Her Majesty the Baby has picked up have been no more prevalent than those picked up by our earlier children (nor others in her nursery, for that matter) but they have seemed much more virulent and harder to shake.
We hope, as always, that the above helps.
All our love, LouLoU&MikeyM™🙂💛xxxx