This can be without doubt one of the most stressful experiences in life.
We cover in our posts entitled "Never Separate or Divorce In Haste to Stressbust™" and "Stressbusting™ Divorce or Separation", considerations that may be relevant to some users by way of precursor to this important post.
But how does an individual deal with being away from their children after a relationship has broken down to a point where separation becomes the only option or for any other reasons?
Well firstly, like grief (which such an experience can be very much compared to), there is no rule which fits all as the impact is entirely unique to every single individual.
At the outset is crucial to note that there are some first class professional support services that can be accessed as required, and nobody at all should be ashamed to use them if needed.
But possible day to day practical coping mechanisms may include the following:-
● impose substitute routines to include work if possible, stick to them and try to ensure any contact arrangements are structured around them to provide both you and children with personal continuity
● share your position in confidence with your employer so that they can support you without judgement as appropriate
● take up a hobby (or even 2) to help take your mind away for a bit, perhaps something physical that results in exercise or something creative - see "10 Stressbusting™ Themes for Decorating to Innovate & Inspire" and "The Best Gifts are "made@homewith❤"" by way of possible examples
● engage with nature activities to benefit from their relaxing qualities - see, e.g., "Keep an eye out for nearby Stressbusting™ Activities", "Leverage the StressBusting™ Value of "Flower Power"" and "Get Away from it All" to Stressbust™ For a Bit"
● try to surround yourself with people who care and who you can share how you are feeling with without concern or reproach - see "Break Time Quickie - Stressbusting™ Allies to Keep Close" and "Break Time Quickie - Keep Stressbusting™ Assets Visible". Alternatively there are first class support groups online or available by telephone in which people share experiences openly and honestly
● similarly, if possible waste no time creating a new home enviroment that is comfortable and warming for you and the children as appropriate, along the lines described in our post entitled "Give your Home an Identity that helps you StressBust™"
● treat yourself with tenderness and cherish your apperance as a means of sustaining a positive self image at a difficult time - see "The Relevance of Physicality to StressBusting™" and "Groom, Groom, Groom to Stressbust™!"
● make it a personal objective to keep on top of household chores and enjoy the wellness benefits of doing so - see our post entitled "The StressBusting™ capacity of household chores"
● if you enjoy listening to music, ensure a balance of reflective and uplifting melodies
● keep an eye on your SMI - see "Have an SMI™ (Stress Management Index™) to accompany your BMI" and take action to regulate it using the type of exercises contained in our posts entitled "The Value of Morning "Stretchbusting™"" and "Stressbusting™ Techniques to Manage & Calm Overwhelm"
● to further assist regulation of your SMI, aim to put in place a good bedtime routine as the nights can otherwise be very long and getting sufficient sleep can help manage the inevitable emotional ups and downs - our post entitled ""Zzzzzz" - The Most Important Stressbusting™ Letter in the Alphabet!" provides some useful tips and techniques
● try as best as possible not to eat on the run, but rather embrace a healthy dietary wellness programme - see "HeadChefSantiago™ on the best foods for reducing stress" and our post entitled "Top 10 Super Cost Effective Stressbusting™ Tips to Dietary Wellness that SAVED us money" for ideas
● be sure to be sensitive to the feelings of, and to positively communicate with, the children if or when you do see or speak to them, as of course the changes will equally be affecting them - our post entitled "Modes of Questioning to Stressbust™ for Loved Ones" may assist in this vital exercise
● consider investing energy into a pet if one can be accommodated comfortably, responsibly and safely for the benefits explained by Hank in "A Word from Our Hank on Pet Companionship"
● however tempting, avoid reliance on alcohol or substances to help ease the pain - see our post entitled "Alcohol & Anxiety are not a good StressBusting™ "mixer""
● equally, resist the urge if at all possible to make children the subject of court proceedings -"The Dangers of Litigation to Stressbusting™" identify the possible reasons for this
● immensely difficult though it can be, try to leverage the experience as one for growth and development, along the lines explained in our post entitled "Using Grief as a positive Self Improvement tool".
And try to appreciate that the role of being a parent never ends, but does not necessarily entirely define a person either.
Major events in life such as this can be a catalyst for meaningful positive change which could, if embraced responsibly, be an opportunity to make your children extremely proud.
While a redefinition of your role as parent may inevitably be in order due to limited physical contact, your redefined role is no less important, and millions of people all over the world share your challenge on a daily basis.
Because some of the best decisions we make for our children can be the hardest for us as parents to live with; such is the very nature of parenthood.
But they do not mean we love our children any less.
If they do not quite comprehend this now, then they are likely to become more than aware of it in the course of time as they grow and understand more about the world themselves with your help.
For this reason, aim to appreciate that life in all it shapes and forms can move dramatically from what appears to be randomly wonderful to what seems randomly cruel and back again in the blink of an eye.
So bear in mind that it will get better and easier over time, particularly if decisions are made for the right reasons after exhaustion of available alternatives - see our post entitled "Master this Patience Technique to Stressbust™" to help this process.
Look out in the weeks ahead for a related post dedicated to StressBusting™ being a single parent.
Readers who think their or their loved ones' work, health or wellbeing are being affected by matters contained in this post in a manner that requires some of the excellent support available this day and age, please do not feel embarrassed or stigmatised as you are not alone, and instead reach out or see our Legal Notices page for relevant info.
BigHugs,
MikeyM™&LouLoU™ 😊😍😎🧡💛💕 xxxx