Some of the most stressed out, anxious and unpredictable people we have encountered are those who feel (and accordingly act as if) they have to be right about everything or be more authoritative in matters than they in fact are, and who have a tendency to deny any of their own inevitable errors as a result.
No person can a). achieve this state of relative perfection in the 1st place or b). prosper long term carrying such a heavy burden.
The reason this state is so stressful is because the fall back defence of an ‘it wasn’t my fault’ leaves its practitioners constantly on the look out for their next alibi or justification.
The pressure to be “right” is self imposed. And unnecessary or unconstructive criticism of others is often to detract from the imperfection of self.
It is a defence mechanism designed to remove the need to admit “error” at a current or some future point, or to face self scrutiny of any type.
But error of itself is an inevitable part of life and part of everyone’s personal growth curve.
Without error none of the most groundbreaking inventions of our age or any other would make it to market. James Dyson, for example, admittedly made errors thousands of times before perfecting Dyson hoover technology.
We have a mantra that “getting things wrong is not a fault or weakness – but getting the same things wrong time and again certainly is”.
This is because it demonstrates a lack of appreciation of the importance of learning from errors whatever your age.
Yet we have seen people posture some of the most ridiculously unsustainable arguments in defence of an irrefutable error or in critique of others best attempts.
At times this has involved downright lying but most of the time it is a case of blaming either circumstances beyond the erring party’s supposed control (yes, that old chestnut) or blaming others (in the vast majority of cases, people not in attendance to defend their own position).
Humans are experts in this art of what we call "transferance" when the chips are down for them, even if the mess in question is of their own making.
We will be posting separately on this subject in a post entitled “Why ‘The Blame Game’ Never Works”.
For the purpose of this Break Time Quickie, however, suffice to say that an overwhelming need to be seen to be right or perfect hampers personal development, open collective dialogue and society enhancement.
It also breeds dishonesty and creates a tendency to defame others which (if taken to its logical conclusion) could end any person above the relevant national legal age of responsibility up in Court.
See our separate dedicated post entitled "The Dangers of Litigation to Stressbusting™" for the specific risks attached to this.
The pressure can also, in the long term, result in ill health as such people are often heard waxing lyrical that they know better than eg doctors, solicitors and others who are specialist professionals in their dedicated chosen fields and therefore ought to be consulted for good reason, but are not.
So rather than insist on being (or having to be) seen to be right and criticising others, embrace errors and imperfections as a practical necessity to grow, then enjoy sharing the lessons in them.
If necessary, be brave enough to address the reasons for any underlying recklessness generating the repeating need to manufacture excuses or transfer blame to others who have done little if anything to deserve it.
This transformation can be very liberating and reduce anxiety exponentially.
And feel free to use our Legal Notices section as a starting point for seeking support in this as necessary or if it assists.
Much love, MikeyM&LouLoU™ 👍💚💙🧡 xxx