Unlike Dr Who, we humans consist in total of only 3 absolutely certain things from a time perspective - these are our past, our present and our future.
And while Dr Who has a tardis to transport him or her between his past, present and future, we unfortunately do not (wouldn't it be fun, though! 😆).
Nevertheless, each of our past, present and future are important to us, play different parts in our life story and merit our ongoing attention in their own rights for different reasons.
We see a lot of people, however, over-dwelling on their past at the expense of focusing on the present, let alone the future. This may take the form of beating themselves up over opportunities they failed to capitalise on, reminiscing too much over a period they were very happy / more healthy, or just wishing they had done something differently.
But the past cannot be changed or recreated. We therefore have absolutely zero control over it.
So positive reflection on and validation of happy memories from the past such as spending cherished time with loved ones lost or absent for any reason is great for StressBusting™, as is using the past as a reference point to make sure we don't, for example, make the same errors or misjudgements again. Celebrating past personal achievements is healthy too, but we try not to indulge in this exercise too heavily, bearing in mind the old sporting adage that "you are only as good as your last game (or, in our case, our last post)"! 🙈
Beyond that, the present deserves much more of our attention than the past as the present is the only place we permantly inhabit (without a tardis) and is where we can therefore make most difference to ourselves and society, by adaption, self improvement and reinvention as the case may be, as well as supporting those around us who we care for and who need us right now.
We also think having a definable sense of core belonging to and in the present gives us a purpose and is a fantastic tool for fending off depression and promoting an overall fruitful outlook.
The future, for its part, is a little different to the past in that we have a certain degree of influence over it in the present. But we still do not have full control over it. Even best laid plans can be railroaded by events entirely outside of our control. Though we can by prudent and responsible planning at least increase the odds of our future being a good one, something that usually takes the form of taking decisive action in the present - enrolling on a new course so we have enhanced future employment options or joining a wellness club to safeguard our future health are illustrations of this.
Nevertheless, too much focus on the future can be a threat to enjoying the present. It can be overwhelming to try to plan for every eventuality and this taken to extremes is a recipe for anxiety in the present. Plus, we appreciate a degree of mystery in the future - it would be awfully dull to feel that we had mapped it out completely!
Therefore, we feel the best approach to the future is to decide what our priorities in fact are and put as many positive building blocks in place as we can to achieve them in the present, mindful but not obsessed by the reality that nobody knows what is round the next corner for them. Once this is achieved, our focus can and should return to the present.
We importantly note that much focus on either the past or the future can additionally drain us of our most valuable commodity in the present - ENERGY. But a slightly greater focus on the future than the past is a good thing because this exercise of course envisages and recognises that we have an important future role to play (a positive psychological exercise of itself!) and because it can involve taking such satisfying steps as planning for the security of relatives and for what we imagine to be a grand old age for ourselves!
Our rule as a result of all the above is to spend no more than about 15% of our free thinking time reflecting on the past in positive terms rather than dwelling, a good, solid 60% on our present and 25% on our future planning, because this future planning affords us greater comfort and pride in the present.
This we find to be an excellent reflection check that we would invite readers to try out from time to time to ensure they have a healthy StressBusting™ focus balance in place.
For further discussions of matters touched upon in this post that may be of intererst, please see our earlier posts entitled "Break Time Quickie - "Imagine2Create"", "ENERGY: The Most Precious StressBusting™ Commodity in Life", "Wills, Insurance, Powers of Attorney & Life Planning as Stressbusting™ Essentials", "Break Time Quickie - Act on your Priorities", "Stressbusting™ Techniques to Manage & Calm Overwhelm", "Let go of the Past & Create a New Living Legacy to Stressbust™" and "Relax into the Dance of Life".
MUCH LOVE IN THE PRESENT (FOR NOW! 😉)
LouLou™&MikeyM™
😊😍😎🧡💛💕 xxxx